I look like my mother. Do not want!

You are already an adult, maybe you are married, and here you find your mother's habits! You clean the apartment with the same zeal, you saw a man for what he drank, you take the same position while watching TV and so on, you can go on indefinitely.

But the worst thing is that your mother's fears are transmitted to you: fear of the first wrinkles, excess weight, dependence on the opinion of others ... How to overcome this heredity and not repeat your mother's fate, but live your life? How to be independent? How not to be like mom and how to build a relationship with her? The women's site will try to understand all this.

I look like my mother. Preface

It's too late, but you keep pushing the kitchen hard. It remains only to wash the stove and sink, and that's it! You can fall on the bed without strength. And suddenly it dawns on you: my mother did the same! Well, you always thought that you go to bed in your own way, and you and your mother are completely different people. And here you are - you repeat her actions and become a copy of her! No, you're blonde and she has dark hair, you like bright clothes, and she's pretty conservative. But then why do you behave almost the same?

Psychologists have their own answer to this. They believe that the mother is the first object of imitation and the closest person. Because we adopt the manner of behavior of those people to whom we turn, we begin to copy the behavior of the mother in childhood and completely unconsciously. We repeat not only habits and gestures, but also body sensations! And as already noted, unfortunately - unconsciously.

Fortunately, things are not so hopeless. And you can cope with the situation when you become like your mother.

Don't look like mom! Tip 1

You need to develop your opinion on everything and have your own opinion. Not surprisingly, it is difficult for us to tell our mother what we really think, to tell our true desires. For example, if from childhood we were "pushed" healthy food, and hot dogs, ketchups and sneakers were perceived as poison and almost a mortal sin, now, living as if your own life, you feel guilty, eating such food together. with her husband for dinner.

It's time to tie it! Mom thinks it's time for you to lose weight and you start going on a diet and counting calories? But think, maybe it's just your mom's opinion, not yours? Maybe you are so comfortable and problems due to excess weight (or apparent excess weight) do not arise? Then calmly ignore her criticism and think about what YOU want.

Don't look like mom! Tip 2

Just change the object of imitation. For example, instead of mom, follow the example of a friend or sister. Especially if they had similar problems and they were successful with them.

For example, your mother taught you to be strict organization and daily routine, and you are a creative person, and where there is creativity, there is no place for order. Your girlfriend due to her "clumsiness and disorganization" (as your mother would say) manages to redo a lot of things in a day and it does not interfere with her flight of fancy.

Don't look like mom! Tip 3

Play the game "find 10 differences" between yourself and your mom. You see, you are completely different people. Even if you both overcome the fear of the first wrinkles around the eyes, the mother in this case copes with homemade masks of cucumbers and oatmeal (and, incidentally, walks around the house in this form), and you are counting on modern creams for the eye area and massage. , which (and you're sure of it) will be more effective than my mother's beauty recipes.

Don't look like mom! Tip 4

Realizing that in the mother says or female envy, or feelings. Does she criticize your "vulgar" way of dressing? Because she will not be able to allow this due to her age. She doesn't advise dating this guy? Just worried, burned in his youth. Always analyze what your mother says.

Of course, sometimes mom can say very offensive words to you, but you, following the advice № 1, always have your own opinion. It is better to learn from your mistakes, living your life.

Don't look like mom! Tip 5

Your mother is constantly worried about you, that you are hungry, you can freeze, you are offended or you can get sick. And so, as if protecting you from disease, makes you go to the doctor to be examined for possible diseases, as well as buy pills in packs, "just in case." Her fears are transmitted to you, and you, like her, no longer know where to go from the pills, it seems to you that everyone is really trying to offend you, and you dressed too lightly on the street ... Stop! You're all right!

Tell yourself about it! All right! Analyze the behavior of others, listen to your body, and if there are no real fears, then there is nothing to worry about. Convince mom that you are old enough to deal with the problems yourself.

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